1	THE HELICOPTERS: Rolling with the challenges presented by today’s students and parents Julian Parrott University of Illinois Division of General Studies (jparrott@illinois.edu)
2	“THIS JOURNEY BE HIS.” The Battle of Crecy in 1346
3	THE HELCOPTER PARENT ARE THEY A MEDIA MYTH? HOW DO WE DEFINE THE TERM? HOW ARE WE PREPARING FOR THEIR ACTIVE INTERVENTION? ARE THEY ALL NEGATIVE?
4	IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO
5	A NEW PARADIGM? * “LIKE IT OR NOT, ALLOW PARENTS TO BE MORE ENGAGED IN CAMPUS LIFE. MANY OF TODAY’S PARENTS HAVE SO MUCH INVESTED, EMOTIONALLY, AND FINANCIALLY, IN THEIR CHILDREN’S WELL-BEING THAT THEY CANNOT QUICKLY AND ENTIRELY RELINQUISH THEIR ROLE.” (Howe & Strauss, 2003) * “RECRUITING A STUDENT MEANS RECRUITING A FAMILY.” (James A. Boyle, College Parents of America, 2006)
6	ARE WE PREPARED? In 1997 Wes Habley expressed concern advisors were already being stretched by their institutions. A 2006 UCLA study found advisors need more training in the areas of counseling skills, student development theory, and higher education law in order to be able to more effectively answer the kind of parent concerns they were now being confronted with
7	ADVISORS, THE “GO TO” GUYS 11 FTE advisors – advising 16,303 last AY 49% of students at Illinois talked to advisors about mental health issues while only 25% of students would talk to a professor “Freshman year adjustment hit me really hard, and I almost couldn’t handle it . . . . but I never went to see a counselor here because I didn’t think they could help me. I did talk to my academic advisor about it,” (Healthy Minds Study, 2008, p.31).
8	THREE AREAS OF CONCERN Parental over-involvement delays the traditional expectation of student development We don’t present a clear and consistent message to parents We need to develop programs that harness parental support and curtail parental over-involvement
9	The double team – the millennial students and parents WHERE DID THEY COME FROM? WHAT ARE THE ISSUES HERE? HOW DO WE WORK WITH THEM?
10	BECAUSE . . . IT IS NOT A QUESTION OF WHY BUT HOW IT IS NOT A QUESTION OF WHEN BUT NOW
11	KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE Boomer parents or young X-er parents Millennial students
12	BOOMERS No generation has been as well educated, economically successful, or marketed to And, no generation has been subjected to the education, the economic, and the marketing of parenting. “Has there ever been another art so devoutly converted into a science as the art of parenting?” (Levitt & Dubner, 2006) They were one of 3.3 children. They have 1.9 children Blamed their parents for negative cultural trends Determined not to repeat it with their children
13	THEIR CHILDREN “NEXT GREATEST GENERATION” (Howe & Strauss, 2003) OR “GENERATION ME” (Twenge, 2006)
14	THEY ARE . . . . Special, sheltered, confident, team-orientated, conventional, pressured, achieving (Howe & Strauss, 2003) Or Over-programmed, semi-autonomous, need guidance, overly focused on grades, focused on family, respect norms but not necessarily adults they disagree with, stressed (Leavitt, 2005)
15	SPAWNING THE MILLENIALS 1960s and 1970s – considered apogee of the liberal society High levels of street crime – peak reached in 1989 (up 80% since early 70s.) National PTSD – Vietnam, Watergate, Oil Crisis, Recession Parents in the ‘80s were highly susceptible to society’s fears and warnings about the country their babies would inherit. Came of age in an era of climbing divorce, illegitimacy, abortion rates, increasing crime, drug and alcohol use , AIDS Parenting became an obsession, it became professional parenting Smaller families – more attention Parents believe that their children’s success is because of them and a reflection of them Products of what parents have done (and not of what their parents “are.”)
16	ON THE PLUS SIDE Drinking, drugs, smoking, & unplanned pregnancies (and abortions) at lowest levels in several decades Strong self belief and confidence Grade “A”, top 10% students in HS They trust us and follow direction Conventional and conformist Anti-boomer values Team player, joiner, volunteer (3.3 million) Civically engaged Scheduled for success Tolerant
17	WHOOPS . . . ? Rates of binge drinking highest Usage of prescription drugs highest ever (800% up) The Alex P. Keaton paradigm - developing a meaningful philosophy of life totally replaced by getting a (business) job Specialness = entitled, lack empathy Will challenge authority if they don’t like the direction, aggressive response to criticism Conventional and conformist Clubs tend to be professional, volunteering = resume building (self promotion) Pressured to succeed, massive fear of failure Narcissistic “Today’s young Americans are more confident, assertive, entitled and more miserable than ever before” (Twenge, 2006)
18	GET SMART ? 1989 55% considered themselves academically above average 23.2% of freshmen reported they were straight “A” students in HS Composite ACT score was 20.6 2005 70% considered themselves academically above average 47.5% of freshmen reported they were straight “A” students in HS Composite ACT score was 20.9
19	GRADE INFLATION – NIMBY? A 2003 graduating senior from Princeton with a straight “B” average was in the bottom 10 % of their class In 2001, 51 % of Harvard grades were “A”s or “A-”s
20	MORE LIKELY TO CHEAT? 1992 to 2002 the percentage of students who admitted cheating in high school rose form 61% to 74% 80% of students at Texas A&M 70% of Duke students Increase in academic integrity cases Parental responses? Parental integrity (1% of college applications, parents writing papers)
21	HIGH END USERS Placement issues I can do anything I want Misaligned expectations I don’t want to be challenged I defer to authority I challenge authority I embrace diversity I am not interested in that cultural kind of stuff Joiners – prestige, tradition Health and wellness Over reliant Technology Immediacy, Natives v. immigrants
22	BE PROACTIVE Cut the cell-phone umbilical Is everything negotiable or petitionable? More engaged (demanding, entitled) They constantly look for “family structure” They are used to the team approach Shared work - integrity Support – MDs, lawyers, counselors etc. College is not a life-passage, it is not the beginning of adulthood Our conversations are with a broader audience Informed by them? Support and encourage challenging and stretching themselves Slow ‘em down Watch your language – avoid corporatism and consumerisms
23	ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE GOOD WORK EFFORT JOINERS TECHNOLOGICALLY SAVVY GOAL ORIENTATED HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE ARE LOOKING FOR MENTORS PROVIDE MANY, MANY “TEACHBALE MOMENTS” THEIR MOTIVATIONS/YOUR MOTIVATIONS BE THE FIRST TO EXPLAIN THE BENEFITS
24	OPTIONS FOR INFLUENCE Communications – web pages, handouts, brochures Orientation – especially parents’ programs UNIV 101 Towards a different relationship with students, a different partnering with parents – a shared responsibility?
25	STATS, STATS & MORE STATS 90% close to parents 66% report parents are in touch with their lives 80% enjoy meaningful discussion with parents 66% have discussed sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll 67% share parents’ values 90% trust their parents – 50% trust the government 38% have had parents in an advising meeting or on phone during meeting 31% parents have called to discuss grades Parents are biggest role model 26% more parents attend orientation than students 49% call parents daily – parents call on average 12 times a week, 1.5 times daily
26	HELICOPTER MARQUES The “Soccer mom” and the kid scheduler The “Self Esteem movement” parent The “Alpha parent” or “Alpha parents” The “Corporate” parent The “Wall Street Journal” parent The “Best friend” parent The “9/11 or active threat parent” The “Contingency of self worth” parent The “In loco Parentis” desire The “Cultural traditions” parent The “Debt burdened” parent
27	PARENTING STYLES AUTHORITARIAN PERMISSIVE / NEGLECTFUL AUTHORITATIVE
28	INCREASING INVOLVEMENT 93% of mid to senior level student-affairs administrators have experienced an increase in interaction with students’ parents since the turn of the century 54% of parents have called school official to express a concern about their student, 50% have called to resolve an issues, and 33% have called to complain 31% of parents had called colleges to discuss grades 25 % of the students surveyed felt that their parents were overly involved to the point of annoyance or embarrassment 11.8% of students reported their parents had helped choose courses, 22.8% had discussed course material, and 66.6% had discussed academic progress issues 38 % of students had had parents with them, or on the phone, during a meeting with their academic advisor. 25 -33 % of parents considered over-involved
29	NEGATIVE INFLUENCES OF OVER-INVOLVEMENT Impeded development: Those students who don’t take on a sense of responsibility for their ideas, ideals, and values and remain beholden to the constructs of others, impede their own growing sense of self awareness and self identity Adulthood begins at . . . 26 75 % of a student’s growth in cognitive development that occurs in college occurs during the freshman year, (Pascerella, 2006) Pre-frontal cortex development stymied -(Marano, 2004; Silverman, 2008) 45% of students have experienced some level of depression, 44% have problem drinking patterns, and 10% report suicidal tendencies
30	"Self esteem ( highest ever" Self esteem ( highest ever) Misaligned abilities – I can do anything Misaligned expectations – I can be everything “It’s no wonder the shelves of suburban recreation rooms nationwide groan under the weight of participation trophies, seventh-place medals, and ribbons congratulating kids for simply showing-up,” (Rosen, 2005). Parental self esteems (20% have depressive symptoms)
31	TECHNOLOGY Do children really leave home? Immediacy Parents and students communicate an av. 1/5 times a day Checking in or asking advice? “Make it right”
32	Problems? What happens if you stand too tall under a helicopter? Students’ communication skills Lack of creativity, sense of conformity Navigating organizational structures Accepting responsibility Sense of preciousness & entitlement Independent decision making Student development and future issues Self identity and the “false self” Prone to depression and binge drinking? (Eaton 2006; Elkind 2003; Levine, 2006; Marano 2004,) Not limited to higher ed or to the U.S.
33	POSITIVE ASPECTS OF PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT Can help academic and psychosocial adjustment Students who reported a continued high level of parental involvement reported a more meaningful academic experience than those students who reported less involved parents (NSSE survey,2007) Parental academic monitoring is a key component in improving academic achievement at the K-12 level and high achieving students were more likely to come from families with involved and supportive parents (Rath, 2005; Shumov & Miller, 2001) A close relationship between parents and child helps foster a sense of self-confidence, self worth, good self-esteem, independence, and less generalized life anxiety (Maccoby & Martin, 1983)
34	"“Compared with their counterparts" “Compared with their counterparts, children of helicopter parents were more satisfied with every aspect of their college experience, gained more in such areas as writing and critical thinking and were more likely to talk to faculty and peers about substantive topics,” (George Kuh, 2007) “A parenting style that maintains positive communication while allowing children to challenge parental values and develop individual identities separate from the parents appears optimal,” (Schwartz and Buboltz, 2004
35	WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? Don’t dismiss all parental involvement “Through partnership with parents and families, we can create additional learning opportunities and also increase the likelihood of student success,” (Pennington, 2005)
36	THEIR RIGHTS – OUR RIGHTS IN LOCO PARENTIS Supervision and Protection Philosophy and Legality Change in mid 1980s Revisiting college responsibilities for student safety and student behavior Alcohol and drug violation notifications Expect more litigation over safety issues Personal safety Economic security FERPA Can’t disclose any info to parents outside of “directory information” Waivers Student waiver Parent/guardian waiver Check with institution’s legal counsel for guidance Expect more waiver requests from parents and students
37	ON FIRM LEGAL GROUND. . . . but what about obligations? Emotional wrench The increasing cost of education The commodification of higher education Think of your mortgage Think of your car Think of the tuition and fee investment Are we too quick to assign parental involvement as . . . Unhelpful Hampering students’ transition to college life Adversarial
38	THEY WANT THE BEST FOR THEIR CHILDREN . . They sometimes just go about it the wrong way They can be: Authoritarian Neglectful We need them to be Authoritative
39	BUILD ON THE FOUNDATION THAT . . . Parents can be effective partners in their children’s college experience K-12 studies, and a sparse few with a higher ed population, suggest parental support = better GPA and parental support reduced stress and anxiety (Cutrona 1994; Miller-Rath 2007; NSSE, 2007; Pittman 2007)
40	TOWARDS A NEW RELATIONSHIP How can we make parents effective partners in their student’s acclimation to college? How can we make parents partners in the continued growth and development of their students?
41	BE A SOCCER COACH. . . .
42	THE ADMISSIONS MODEL Parents are a conduit for admissions information between school and student Parents are seen as playing critical role in their children’s college choices, they are “co-purchasers” There are parents brochures, websites, list serves, discussion groups, and handbooks Host parent presentation, visitation days, parent specific information Let us R&D similar options
43	BEGIN EARLY – SET EXPECTATIONS We are all entitled to realistic expectations – set them early Utilize Structural issues Resource issues Technology issues
44	PRE-ORIENATION & ORIENTATION Develop a web site for parents of admitted students Cover some general information Set expectations Prepare websites, email, letter to parents from the college If you do not have the resources for a dedicated site – think about your student site from a broader audience perspective. Intentionally create the site for parents to empower their students.
45	ORIENTATION Sets expectations for the program for future engagement Break the parents away from their children Program the parents and students differently Introduce the concept of “letting go” but don’t mention “letting go”
46	INFORM AND EDUCATE Share information Graduation requirements Language requirements Freshman enrichment Scheduling/registration Hours, deadlines, grading, holds, changing majors, time to degree Advising Explain FERPA Our expectations of students, their expectations of us Expectations for parents Do it all with humor
47	"Try to schedule some time..." Try to schedule some time for parents and children to get together Panel discussion for parents and students Letting go sessions? There are teachable “letting go” moments out there for parents and students We must attempt to coax both out of safety zones If we create a warm, welcoming environment won’t everyone feel more comfortable? Don’t cut them off . . . . totally
48	PARENT/FAMILY NEWSLETTER Keeping them “somewhat informed” Simple Technologically Resources Benefits Cuts down calls and emails Part of the college family Information shared with students Reinforces appropriate roles and behaviors The vernacular
49	OTHER PROGRAMS Completely separate parents’ program Parents’ weekends: in dorms, food, classes, fun? Detach the overt “development” Web sites, newsletters, list serves, chat rooms, handbooks etc Parent liaison officers
50	AS PARTNERS Use the parents’ interest and concern to the students’ advantage; communicate, provide information but do not succumb to unrealistic (or illegal) demands Educate, inform, reassure – most will let go. We have no choice in whether we deal with parents – but we have choice in how we deal with them
51	THANKS jparrott@illinois.edu